Jul. 6th, 2012

its_game_time: (Lloyd; lol wat)
I just started RE0 (so my commitment to replaying the whole series is OFFICIAL), and as I watched Billy's intro, I suddenly connected the dots and made a startlingly delayed realization concerning the men in this series.

Resident Evil 0

Rebecca: OMG YOU'RE THAT WANTED FELON
Billy: So, you seem to know me. Been... fantasizin' about me?

Resident Evil 3

Jill: Hey, dude I don't know--
Carlos: YOU WANNA ASK ME OUT, RITE. ALL THE FOXY LADIES DO~
Jill: WTF

Resident Evil 4

Leon: Let's board up this house against the looming onslaught of angry villagers!
Ashley: Okay!
Luis: AW, COOL, SHE'S GOT BOOBS!
Ashley: >B|

-A few hours later-

Leon: SORRY, ASHLEY, BUT I MUST REJECT YOUR ADVANCES
Hunnigan: o hai Leon good to see you're alive--
Leon: OH HEY BABY YOU LOOK SEXY WITHOUT DEM GLASSES
Hunnigan: ...

Resident Evil 5

Jill: Who're you?
Josh: I'm Josh Stone and-- HOLY CRAP YOU'RE JILL VALENTINE HEY BEAUTIFUL LET'S GO ON A CHOPPER RIDE TOGETHER 8DDD

-10 minutes later-

Josh: HEY DOUG I PICKED ME UP A LADY FRIEND
Doug: Is she cute??
Josh: HEY WATCH IT MAN THIS IS THE JILL VALENTINE, TYVM
Doug: HOLY CRAP HEY MISS VALENTINE 'SUP SEXY DON'T WORRY I WILL COME SAVE YOU AND LET YOU MEET A REAL MAN K
Jill: .............../polite-ish laugh

-10 minutes later-

Doug: ARE YOU STILL WAITING? I'M ON MY WAY, YOU BEAUTIFUL THING~
Jill: ...

-5 minutes later-

Doug: I'M STILL COMING, CUTIE ♥~~~!
Jill: /IGNORES

Resident Evil: Revelations

Chris: GOSH DARN IT VIRUS LEAK
Jill: WE HAVE TO STOP IT FROM SPREADING!
Parker: Oh, hey, Chris, you take Jill and I'll take Jessica -- we can do some friendly partner swapping~ /NUDGE NUDGE ;D
Jill: /sidelong look
Jessica: D8
Chris: /either TOTALLY OBLIVIOUS or TOTALLY IGNORING


Realization: the men in this series pick the absolute worst times for flirting and/or thinking about Things Like That -- e.g., they do it RIGHT AWAY or they do it at the most inopportune moments.

...Except for Chris, who... doesn't flirt. PRIORITIES, MAN. HE HAS THEM.

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